First Ever Post!

I have always wanted to start a blog simply because I Love to chat and communicate with people, I have however, also been a little apprehensive to post and create a little space on the internet mainly because I’m not really sure if anyone will be interested and also because I am almost 30? Does that matter?

 

Anyway, I have written this “first blog post” about 100 times and deleted it because I think sometimes it’s hard to summarise yourself and what you will blog about in a few words. I thought a good idea for this first post should really summarise me and the kind of things I will blog about.

I may not be your typical blogger? I am not overly amazing at grammar and spelling because I am severely dyslexic (no word police please) I also am not amazing at taking pictures (although I take heaps of them) and I’m not really your crafty bakery type of girl either.

 

On my blog you will typically find stories from the past, events in my life that have shaped the way I am today, you will find blogs about both struggles and triumphs. You will also see a lot of day to day stuff, things I do at work, things I am doing with my children. I will blog about my marriage (not just the good bits) I really want this blog to be about real life. Real life is not always something that comes wrapped up in a big shiny bow that is always flowers and rainbows, it is hard sometimes right? I want this to be a little place on the internet where you can come and read stories and blog posts and think, ok… we all go through “stuff” but we can all get through whatever that “stuff” may be. I also love to cover inspiring women in this world…

 

I love to champion other women, I have worked really hard to get where I am today and I love nothing more than to see women succeed. I believe that women are extremely powerful and that we can pretty much do anything that we set our minds to. I hate when women bash one another (so you won’t find anything like that here either)

 

So, who am I?

 

I was born in Surrey in 1985, my mother was a teacher and my father was a British army major (yep you know I had quite a strict up bringing) ha. My early life was lovely I lived in a lovely home and was very fortunate.

My passion as a child was horses, when I was 12 my Nan got me a pony called Mr Mac and I would spend pretty much every spare moment of my time at the stables.

When I was 13 unfortunately I was seriously sexually assaulted by a man who worked at our riding stables. This changed my life forever.

I went pretty off the rails after that, I rebelled both at home and at school. I started to drink quite a bit with my friends, I started to self-harm and really just went on a little mission of self-destruct. My attitude became terrible and I pushed everyone including my parents away.

When I was 15 I met a man, he was 18 at the time, my friend introduced us. He was from another part of the country about 100 miles away from my home town, after an argument with my parents one evening (still at only 15) I left home and moved away with him.

In the two years that followed I realised that I had gotten myself into a really bad relationship, I felt very alone and isolated and that man that I had run away with seemed to enjoy me being that way. When I was 17 I fell pregnant.

My Son was born when I was 18 in October 2003, becoming a mother changed everything for me, finally I had something good to live for. I wanted to be the best that I could be for that little boy however, I knew that I would be tarnished with the “young mum” brush.

When my son was just over a year old I left my partner, I started a fresh. Got myself a new job (at the place where I still work today now as a Director) I rented myself a little house and me and my son started our journey alone.

Over the years that followed I dated a few people, went back to my parents for 6 months (because I had started to suffer with real sever anxiety) I got Divorced and almost got re-married to the man that I ran away with (I know it sounds mad doesn’t it)

Eventually in 2007 I managed to buy a home and for the first time I felt totally settled, I worked REALLY hard to build things for me and my little boy.

In 2009 I met a man (my husband today) and we went on to have a little girl.

 

I adore my family more than anything in this world, everything that I do is to make sure that they can have the life that they deserve. I am a little over protective of them all and yes I may sometimes spoil them a little bit but they really are my be all and end all.

 

I love my career and I am really fortunate to have worked with my 2 amazing Directors for almost 11 years, they have really believed in me and given me a fantastic opportunity to prove myself.

 

I left school with absolutely zero qualifications and whilst I wouldn’t recommend that to people I would say that it doesn’t mean you are a write off!

 

A lot of people have dismissed me over the years (especially in the early days) people who have sometimes been through things at an early age can end up being overlooked and written off but I am proof that it does not have to be that way. I had all of the “damaged goods, she won’t amount to anything, teenage mum, difficult teenager” but I proved everyone wrong. People when they look at me will often underestimate how tough I really am, I know that I have come through the worst (ha well I hope so anyway)

 

Whatever people go through there is always a way forward, if you are a teenage mum are you a write off? NO you’re not, you can be whatever you want to be, you can achieve whatever you want to achieve if you work hard and set your mind to it. If you are someone who has suffered abuse does that make you damaged goods forever? Do you deserve to feel worthless? NO you don’t, I am proof that you can get through tough situations, you are not alone, you can be a survivor.

 

I would love just one person to read my blog and decide to read more, I want people to have a blog to read that isn’t just about make-up and fun stuff (although yes I will cover lots of that too) but to have a blog where I talk about the things that still stick with me from my past, the difficulties you can have in marriage and in work and how you can get passed them… I also want people to share in my happiness with myself and my husband and our beautiful children.

 

I hope that this will be a blog that will grow and a place where we can all go on our journeys together.

 

If anyone contacts me I will do my upmost to respond.

 

Anyway, not sure how this is for a first blog post but I hope that someone reads it and enjoys it.

 

J

 

I will post again tomorrow.

 

Zoe

 

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